Spacegoat

I’m not sure if this is the right place to post a self promoting idealistic comment such as this, but i imagine that any avid reader of Spacegoat (closely affiliated, dear reader, with the Steel Toad Boot) would too be of the same mind and share the same interests as I. And so i ask you, where in lies the root to the evils of humanity? I say the peak of human excellency was in the Medieval Times, and since the fall of the god-worthy feudal lords and the rise of the pathetic demagogues who are Nabisco, the world has only slipped from soul to sole to sale.
And speaking of sale, what Spacegoat participant isn’t interested in the buying, selling, and trading of the Stonyfield Farm yogurt products, their packages included? And i tell you, if only the world were full of more sensitive people who really understood the plight of a working man would they realize that even the previously noble Stonyfield Farm has fallen prey to the sale, their “old-fashioned” style of yogurt smashed and tainted by the corporate greed of modern America. Among the miserable, life-deceasing decisions made by the Stonyfield Empire was the increase the cap size to the larger stonyfield farm products, making it just small enough to fit when the thin plastic sheeting protected this delicacy from the ozone-depleted, fossil-fuel heavy “air”, but too large, so that once this clear shield has been lifted, and the inner heart of the yogurt left innocently to face this horrid world does its mother, the cap and bottle, betray it, and the cap leaves a vacant gap between the container and itself, leaving the yogurt, and any later contents of these previously useful, previously virtually hermetically sealed vessels, pray to the chemicals which undoubtedly the Stonyfield Empire is releasing themselves into the air, so that you might purchase more and more yogurt, instead of reusing your containers for your left over Chinese style food.
And yet, when confronted with the simple and productive plan to make the cap smaller, for the better of the customer, and more importantly, this strangled natural world we claim to be looking out for, the Empire rejected immediately the proposal, throwing the bearer of news, the heroic myself, out onto the street with only a 5 cent coupon for participation. What, beloved reader, should we do about this horrible phenomenon, clearly issued orders by he who shall not be named (not George of course, but the ever present eye of the true leader of the universe)? Sit back and let the Empire defeat the noble Jedis? I think not! Rally with me to the Stonyfield Headquarters! To Vermont, ye brave souls, where the lute and autoharp will join in nonviolent protest, turning soon violent, with bricks and such, upon any such provocation as has been known to be dealt by these ravenous monsters. Flood their inbox with requests for a slightly smaller top which may fit the container it was, after all, conceived to crown. Although Fortuna has spun her wheel downward, it is time to embrace the larger spin, and fight the smaller one, that of the head, when it is hungry, not full of leftovers. I am declaring that in three months time from today, change will be made! But your help, working men, is needed. Either your with me, or your agin’ me, and one should not fight the working man, or he might rise up agin’ you! A petition is in the works, soon to be distributed via Spacegoat, and other (actually just this one) world think tanks. Don’t abandon this world just yet, when tupperware is too much to afford, and a yogurt container just wont cut it.
Your faithful working boy,
Saul

Hey loyal-SpaceGoaters,
I’m from Nantucket, MA/DelRay Beach, FL/Avon, CT, so I’ve never been to Vermont. I’m not so much one for causes, and such but I am one (a BIG one) for traveling. If I sign on, will all expenses be paid?
-loyal SpaceGoater himself